so you fuck me upside down.
and you leave me all alone.
thank you for the venom.

so say what you want to say.
its your fault as much as yours.
it just gives you no right.
its not like you're in a higher position than they are.
you are EQUAL.
maybe its time you get that in your head.

to think i would wake to a better day.
but maybe i thought wrong.
cause talking about what happened just made me more agitated.
rather than feeling better.
i don't want to think about it anymore i guess.
it makes no sense.
whats the point of harping on something that makes you less than happy?

jo, i miss you bitch.

i have to go back to vivo later, to collect my money.

i think all i need is a little pick me up.
and i thought you could do that.
but who was i to expect so much out of you?
what are we to each other?
i don't know.
but like i said.
i'm not going to think about things that make me less than happy.

i'm hoping God will help me.
i know i haven't been at my best.
i know i haven't been praying.
and cursing and swearing everyday of my live.
cause i seem to hate it so.
gosh.
God.
help me to appreciate what you've given me.
help me to love easier and teach me to be stronger.

i rememebered the decision i tried to make.
so i wonder if it was worth it or not.
because its deja vu all over again.

i saw this coming.
i know i did.
and sometimes it scares me like no one else ever did.
i'm amazed at how i scare myself.
what claire and i saw is one thing.
but this is an entirely a different thing.
i know it is.
and maybe i should stop it from coming true.
but if this is fate.
if this is destiny.
who am i to prevent it or to stop it?
i don't know.
i hate it when i'm conflicted with myself.

ok.
now let me pick myself up.
yeah.
TOMORROW!
i'm going out witht he prom princess.
SAMANTHA ALEXIS DAVID.
I SAW HER PROM PICTURES AND I SWEAR THEY LOOK DAMN GOOD.
i'll see you tomorrow!
yes yes!
and we can take many pictures together.
and i can change the picture on my blog.
haha.
i think i'll change it pretty often.

i think its has been the prettiest skin i've had so far.
its true.
less really is more.

you told me that memories are meant to be kept.

i have to right to say anything to you and expect you to change.
not my place.
i know where my place is.
i just hope the person who has the right observe it and let you know.
before any trouble arises.

i jsut messaged samantha.
but hello.
i think she is still sleeping.
haha.

so i'm officially on break for work.
hooray.
until thursday.

i hope i can get all the rest i can.
and when the holidays start.
i'm going to work my ass off.
hooray.
and get more money.
and i don't care all that much cause its the holidays.
yepp.

so say goodbye.
now don't you cry.
cause true love never dies.